The Whale in You, Episode 472
We begin this week with Hollie Holden's poem about the ways we perform in order to belong, and the counterpoint of an unconditional love by which we might welcome ourselves and others.
We explore the ways that a deeper belonging with one another arises from encountering ourselves and others with a kind of grace and attention to the sacred and inherent value of every person. The conversation asks us to do the complex and often difficult work of building cultures where genuineness is welcome, where we can fall apart and still be seen, and where we extend to one another the precious, unwavering love that knows us as inherently whole even when - especially when - we disagree.
Hosted as always by Lizzie Winn and Justin Wise of Thirdspace.
Our source for this week:
Just the way you are
It seems to me that, as we grow,
Our masks get more and more clever.
We try each one out, wondering - will they love me like this?
Will they love me if I’m insightful
and sparkly
and helpful
and Zen
and kind
and deep
and clever
and shiny
and loyal
and strong?
Will they love me if I take on their pain? if I carry the whole family? if I hide my needs and use my resilience to keep everyone else centered?
I try on all these masks and - even when they feel good to wear and everyone does seem to love me like this and this and this -
A question keeps rising to the surface like a forgotten whale who has never left me.
And she wants to know who I am when nobody’s around.
She loves my pajamas and the softness of my tummy and the way I talk to myself when I’m choosing what to wear.
She loves me when I’m grumpy in the morning and when I doubt myself and when I remember to ask for help – and when I forget.
She loves me in a way that makes the masks less and less interesting and less and less necessary.
And she only ever asks me one question - this whale who’s never left me:
Can you soften more today into the Love that loves you just the way you are?
Hollie Holden
July 2026
Photo by Jonathan Hsu on Unsplash